A furry little problem
by Snugglebunny83
Summary: Spike gets into things again, and this time brings Angel and Lorne along for the adventure. Cuteness ensues! Note, all characters property of Joss Whedon.
1. Peruvian tea

Things calmed down again after the whole baby thing. Spike and Jacki started dating and this made Angel especially happy since it meant Spike was now out of his hair for the most part. On a particularly cold and rainy September day, Fred was in her lab again. Her new shipment of mystical herbs from Peru had just arrived. She unpacked the crate and arranged the various containers on her worktable. Just as she was reaching for the nearest container to begin analyzing its contents, the phone rang. She left everything where it was to answer it.

It was a slow work day, and not having anything else better to do; Angel, Spike, and Lorne had gone down to the lab to see if Fred needed any help. Fred was nowhere to be found though. Spike spotted a glass container of what appeared to be tea sitting on the table.

"You suppose this is tea?" He asked Angel, indicating the container in question.

"Seems to be. Fred must have ordered it. It looks like one of those tea of the month things she usually gets."

"I could fancy a cuppa. It's bloody cold out today. 'Spose she would mind if we had some?"

"I don't see why. There's plenty there and she usually shares."

They took the container back to Angel's office and Angel brewed up a pot of tea in his electric kettle. The idea that perhaps this tea was not meant to be drunk never crossed their minds. When the tea was ready, Angel poured it into cups and handed it around. The brewed tea was a light golden green in color and had a faint grassy scent to it.

"Cheers!" Lorne said. They raised their cups and drank.

When Fred came back and saw the container missing, she started to panic. "What happened to that big glass jar of tea leaves I had there?" She asked one of her lab assistants frantically.

"Mr. Angel was in here with Mr. Spike and Mr. Lorne. They took it up to his office."

"Oh No! Oh I hope they weren't stupid enough to drink it!" Fred raced out of the lab, hoping she was not too late.

When she got to Angel's office, she was too late. There on the floor were three broken tea cups and squeaking around the mess were three little guinea pigs! One was dark brown, one was a light cream color, and strangest of all, the third was light green with little nubby red horns!

"Oh my!" Fred exclaimed. She bent down and picked up the guinea pigs.

"I've got to find a place for you three, so you'll be safe until I can change you back."

"Wheek Wheek!" The guinea pigs replied.

Soon the three little guinea pigs were in a nice cage set up in Angel's office. Fred, Wesley, Jacki, Gunn, and Harmony all stood around the cage watching them. For the most part, Lorne and Spike didn't seem to mind being guinea pigs. Lorne was sitting on a top platform chirping happily as Fred was peeling an orange for him. Spike was getting into everything. He'd popcorn a few times, then he'd sit in his food bowl, or he'd try to climb into the hay rack to dig in the hay. Once he stuck his nose into the water bottle spout and got a face full of water.

Angel, though did not want to be a guinea pig. He was curled up inside one of the plastic pigloos as far back from anyone that he could possibly be, chutting grumpily to himself. The only time he would ever emerge from the pigloo to eat or drink was when nobody was looking at him, and he wouldn't stay out long.

"So what was that stuff they drank anyway, and why'd it turn them into guinea pigs?" Jacki asked Fred.

"It's a special ceremonial tea from Peru. The Moche people of ancient Peru worshipped the guinea pig. They believed that if they drank this tea, they could be transformed into the animal to learn its secrets. I guess it works, at least the turning into a guinea pig part works."

"How long will they be like this?" Wesley asked.

"Not sure. A few days perhaps."


	2. The care and keeping of guinea pigs

A few days passed and Lorne, Spike, and Angel were still guinea pigs. Spike seemed to be enjoying himself the most. On one particular day, Spike was nosing around in his food bowl to see if he had missed anything tasty from breakfast. He found a raisin and ate it. Then he nibbled a few pieces of timothy hay from the hay rack, and gave the salt chew a lick.

When Jacki came into the office, he began to popcorn and squeak excitedly. Jacki gave him a chin scratch and a butt rub. Later on, Jacki closed off Angel's office and bedroom so that the three guinea pigs could run loose for a bit. As usual, Angel needed quite a bit of coaxing before he came out of the cage. Once on the floor, they formed a guinea pig train with Spike leading the way and Angel as the caboose. Around and around the perimeter of the office they went, squeaking happily.

Spike found Angel's electric shoe buffer and sat on it. The shoe buffer vibrated and he purred in response. Angel somehow managed to get stuck in the wastepaper basket. He wheeked loudly until Jacki came to his assistance and got him out.

A few more days passed and Jacki and Fred soon noticed that Spike was starting to act a little strangely. Every time Spike saw a female, he'd waggle his butt around and purr a deep, rumbling purr. Jacki looked into a guinea pig care manual to see what that all meant.

"It says he's rumble strutting. Guinea pigs do that to show dominance and males also do it to express a desire to mate. Since this is Spike we're talking about and he only seems to do it around females, I assume he's lonely and wants to mate."

"Well, what are we going to do?" Fred asked.

"Well I don't particularly want to be a guinea pig..."

"I'll do it!" Harmony said excitedly.

Jacki gave her a look that said plainly, "Just try it and I'll dust you so fast, you won't know what hit you."

"I think I've got an idea. There's a female guinea pig in our lab that's in season right now, and we were wanting to breed her. I'll bring her up."

Fred left the room and soon came back with a brown and white guinea pig in a cage. When Spike saw the female guinea pig, he waggled and purred insistently.

"We should probably put him in her cage. We don't want a fight on our hands if Angel and Lorne decide to get in the mood too." Fred remarked. She reached into the cage and pulled Spike out. When he was put into the other cage with the female guinea pig, he wasted no time in trying to court her.

He rumble strutted around her and sniffed her with interest. The female seemed pretty receptive to Spike and raised up her rear end so he could sniff her more.

Psst! She squirted him in the face with urine. Spike was a bit taken aback by that, but didn't stop in his efforts to mount her. A few minutes later, she was mounted and mated, and Spike was purring happily.


	3. The end of it

After a month of being guinea pigs, Lorne, Spike, and Angel turned back. There didn't seem to be any lasting effects except for the fact that Spike now had a fondness for fresh fruit and would pester Jacki constantly for some. That and the fact that Miss Piggywinkle, the brown and white female guinea pig from the lab would always show him her rear and purr seductively every time she saw him. A few weeks after the mating, a litter of four brown and cream colored piglets was born. Fred ended up adopting Miss Piggywinkle and her babies.

On Christmas Eve, everyone was gathered at Jacki's house for the holidays. They were all paired off. Angel was with Nina on the couch. Jacki sat in her favorite armchair with Spike between her feet, stroking his blond hair lovingly as she fed him an orange. Gunn and Ann were slow dancing in the kitchen. Wesley and Fred were kissing under the mistletoe, and Lorne and Harmony were snuggled up together in the other armchair.

"Well it's sure been a crazy year." Lorne remarked.

"You've got that right! So far I've been a mother of sorts to puppets, a vampire turned baby, and then guinea pigs! I just hope you all learned your lessons about staying out of Fred's things. Especially you dear." Jacki gently admonished Spike, giving him a loving tweak on the nose.

"At any rate, we're all here together and everything's fine!" Fred put in.

"Yes, and there's a certain special girl here who will have a special treat in her stocking come tomorrow morning if she's good." Wesley said, giving Fred a loving pat. He and Spike exchanged a meaningful look. For in Jacki and Fred's stockings, there would be two identical black velvet ring boxes. One held a ring with a setting of diamonds and sapphires, the other held a ring with a setting of diamonds and emeralds.

It had indeed been quite a year, and as the night wore on and Christmas drew closer, they all wondered what the coming year would hold.

The End.

Author's Note:

Well there you have it. My first series of sorts. I plan to do a couple more Spike stories, but they won't have anything to do with my other stuff. I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I enjoyed writing them.


End file.
